I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
