Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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