She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
