we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize