ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
