he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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