That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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