Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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