So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
