Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
