why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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