We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
