I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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