We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
