addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
