Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
