If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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