You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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