dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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