what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
