i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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