just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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