They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
