He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
