she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
