saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
