i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
