is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
