I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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