is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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