remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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