puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
