I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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