Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
