do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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