I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
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It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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