In the future we'll all be gay
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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