or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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