i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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