my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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