Grow some girl-balls and come out already
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
