i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
