New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
