Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
