The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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