I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
