Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
what food is Colorado known for?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?