my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
