Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This is my gift to your gina
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.