But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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