I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.