i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize