I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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