just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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