I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
