Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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