my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
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you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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