yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
