Apparently you make a good broom.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
