My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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