In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
