ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
