Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
