Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
