I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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