Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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