all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
