He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
