he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think a kid would responsible me up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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