it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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