And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize