I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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