when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
