My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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