It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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