walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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