Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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