put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
