Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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